See, girls make up fifty-percent of the population (well, a little more, but that’s semantics). People in the LGBT community, on the other hand, make up a minority of the world, and although our world is moving towards equality, there is still a sense of unfair treatment which leads to a lack of full body experience similar to what Young says when she refers to women. For me, being a homosexual man, there are many issues that I feel correlate with the issues Young mentions because gay dudes feel pressure to restrict their bodies in a similar way to girls This has nothing to do with biology as all boys are made of the same genetic material. This pressure is the same that society puts on girls. It's like gender roles, but it's exclusively for us.
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| I'm not sure why I like this show |
People can take us and our abilities for granted. Just as Young says that woman experience their bodies as fragile and have an inability to use them effectively, there’s a certain societal standard that gay boys are supposed to be feminine. Now, I’m not saying that all of us have to be masculine; having the Carson Kressleys and Ross Matthews make the world more colorful and complete. The problem, though, is when this perception is used by the media to make the world believe every gay guy is fragile. Some gay boys love shopping, but some of us love lifting weights more. Some of us love watching reality tv—and I will admit; if I see that Oxygen has a Bad Girls’ Club Marathon, you better believe my afternoon will be spent on the couch with Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream in one hand and a bag of Cool-Ranch Doritos in the other—but some of us like playing basketball with our buds more. We have the ability to use our bodies just like straight guys, yet we're expected not to.
Oh,
and if you think I'm done talking about stereotypes and experienced
feminity, you better bet your season Michigan Football Tickets for 2013
that I'm not. Can we just talk about how gays experience an inability
to affect their space around them. Like, can we just talk about this?
Here’s the thing; when I’m referring to this concept, I’m not
necessarily talking about it in the literal sense. I’m talking about the
ability for us dudes to gain a level of respect and equality among a
group of stereotypical bros. If your voice or ideas come off as even
slightly feminine, all the brochachos are just like “dude, no. Why would we listen to that suggestion? That’s
freakin’ gay.” Like, what? Are you so uncomfortable with who you are as a
person that you can’t even conceptualize the idea of doing something slightly outside of your gender role? Is watching Here Comes Honey Boo (probably the most perfect show in the universe) really going
to make your girlfriend think of you differently?
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| See, even Honey Boo Boo agrees |
Let me tell you
something, buddy. I probably talk to her more than you do, and she’d
probably think of you as dreamy if you were bold enough to admit that
you liked that show. I’m just sayin’, bro. My ability to influence a
room, or the body of people within one, is next to impossible when
either A) people hear my voice or B) my suggestions are not
stereotypically masculine. This doesn’t make me feel all hunky-dory on
the inside, and it sure doesn’t make me feel like I can stretch my arms
out and open my legs in a way that stereotypically portrays masculinity.
In fact, it’s situations like these that make gay boys more prone to
certain gestures like crossing their legs, putting their hands in their
laps, and keeping their bodies constricted. They don’t feel in control
of the people and area around them to feel like they can effectively take control of their space.
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| Pretty snazzy, huh? |
You’ve heard enough of my venting. What do I and the general gay boy population want? Equality. Just like how Malcom X wanted equality for African Americans, I want social equality for my minority. There are without a doubt some gay guys that love shopping, hate exercise, and want people to view them as their best “gurlfrannnnnn!” who couldn’t lift a ten pound barbell if Channing Tatum walked up to their door and asked. This gender role, however, is not what all of us want. Some of us want to be able to chill with our straight guy friends and have a conversation about football without having to feel like we’re inferior. Some of us want to be a mix of both, having the respect and freedom of motion that other guys get while feeling like we can express our feminine traits without being stereotyped and physically confined. Society seems to be progressing towards this, so I hope we will reach this equality point soon. If we don’t, though, my gay boys and I have our ways to get you all to listen (watch the video below for how).
Your post was very intriguing to read largely because it is clear this is a very important issue to you. Reading your post, i was interested if there were any openly gay people in sports that could nuance these stereotypes of gay men much like Erin Demeglio nuanced the stereotypes of girls by playing football. I came across a story of Brian Sims an all-state college football player at Bloomsburg University who was found out to be gay and brought out a big controversy. However, luckily for Brian his team still accepted him. However there are many gay players that did not feel safe about coming out to their team in fear of being discriminated against.
ReplyDeleteThis idea proves your point even more of gays being viewed as feminine. Just like how Erin Demeglio's skill was questioned when she was already good enough to be on the team, these gay athletes talent and motives are questioned just because they are gay. However, while girls cannot hide their gender, homosexual males feel the need to conceal and hide their preferences from their team. Getting back to your post, i would have to say that I know just as many gay people that act more in a masculine way than a feminine way that you say is society places on gays. I think this is just simply because that is how they are and choose to express themselves, since they are already away from the society norms of being heterosexual.
I absolutely loved this post. I liked how you made the connection with Young's article. With restricting the body, I have always though that majority of the time that only applied to women. Reading this post has made me look at it in a different way and realize how it also greatly effects homosexuals also. The media has a large influence on society's perception of gender roles. Not only with women, but also with heterosexuals. The media portrays homosexuals as very fragile feminine people. So when we see this portrayal, we expect homosexuals to be that way. This not only applies to homosexuals, but to the LGBT community.
ReplyDeleteThe video you had up there was entertaining but using women to get back at men isn't the answer. Women should not be used as an item for revenge. Even though the message behind it was good, there could be another way to get a point across without objectifying women.
Absolutely amazing! This has been my favorite post I have read! I love how personal it is, yet it's still really funny. I love your pictures and references to Honey Boo Boo and Bad Girls Club.
ReplyDeleteI love how you talked about your own struggles with modality and how social norms influence what others expect. And then you brought up Malcolm X and how you seek equality, great job!
This is an extremely intriguing post. (I said love a lot, but that's how I feel towards this post).
I thought this post was really interesting because I know a few gay guys, but not well enough to have heard them voice their thoughts on these issues before. Therefore this was pretty informative to me. I really agree with your take on lifting weights - I think that if a gay guy wants to lift weights that it should acceptable and that he shouldn't feel any need to refrain from doing so in order to appear feminine or something like that. Well, actually I've always thought that it was stereotypical for gay men to lift weights, so I definitely wouldn't see any problem with it. I've always thought that gay men were supposed to be more dedicated to staying in shape than straight men collectively (as is suggested in your video), which actually seems to be true in a lot of cases.
ReplyDeleteAs for myself, I'm a straight male and would like to consider myself as fitting into my personal conception of masculinity. I'll admit, I might not have gotten into weight lifting myself if it weren't for society's views that straight men should lift. But even though I was lured into the activity in that respect, I only continue to work out now because I enjoy it - as of now I really like to work out for myself and not because I'm trying to maintain some kind of masculinity or something weird like that. It's a great way to maintain your health - mentally and physically - and it's a better alternative than sitting around and being lazy in my opinion.
Lastly, I'll tell you that I wouldn't be opposed to watching Here Comes Honey Boo on occasion (but not too often). I for one think that a guy who is able to watch a show like that without feeling weird is actually more masculine than a guy who would say that doing something like that is stupid or uncomfortable. My take on masculinity is that you should feel comfortable in your own skin no matter what - I for one honestly wouldn't care at all if someone judged me for something like that. Although, I probably wouldn't have too high of an attention span with a show like that as well.
I think your post was very intriguing! Throughout our semester in Political Science we've discussed many different social groups but the LBGT community has not been mentioned, so I think this post brought to light a topic that is very relevant in our society today. Even though our country is becoming more open to gay people, there are still plenty of people who do not agree with gay marriage due to religious reasons, which causes a sticky situation. I think a big reason why people arn't very accepting of gay people is because they think gay people are "different" than other people, and possibly feel they can't relate. I think this stereotype is very unfortunate because this shouldn't be a problem. A gay person could have the same exact beliefs and/or interests than another person, and could be just as great of a friend as anyone else. I think it's really great that you made this post and that you're comfortable with who you are! I think you did a great job on this post and it was good that you weren't afraid to be bold. Lastly, I thought the video was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteMichael, this was a very interesting read, especially due to your passion that is apparent throughout the article. It is obvious to the reader that this issue is something that you have strong feelings about, which makes it that much more intriguing to read. You do a great job comparing Iris Young's "Throwing Like a Girl" to the issue discussed. Now, back to your post. I completely agree that there is a stigma towards homosexual men in sports. For instance, John Amaechi was the first NBA player to come out of the closet, and he did so just over 5 years ago in 2007 after his retirement. Additionally, after ex Phoenix Suns President, Rick Welts, came out of the closet a few years ago, a lot of controversy was stirred, and Charles Barkley responded with a statement explaining how gay NBA players should not be looked down upon in any way. One quote was: “Every NBA player has played with gay guys.” You can read more about this here: http://thehoopdoctors.com/online2/2012/06/charles-barkley-every-nba-player-has-played-with-gay-guys/. Anyways, I think that gay athletes coming out of the closet is a relatively new thing, and some people still haven't adjusted to it; however, as it becomes more and more common, people will slowly become more accustomed and accepting of it.
ReplyDeleteMichael,
ReplyDeleteYour post caught my eye due to the obvious passion you have for the subject. I have felt that so many of the posts I have read have been obviously strictly out of obligation to a grade, but yours was different. I, being the stereo-typical heterosexual male, have never really put any thought into the things you face every single day. I loved that you were able to make such a distinct connection with the Throwing like a Girl, article as well as a connection with the Malcolm X article. Admittedly, I have spent the last 20 minutes reading various online articles about athletes, along with those in the athletic world in general, who decided to come out, and it has really made me think. I think thats best you can do in a blog post, and I congratulate you for achieving this with me, and the numerous others that have read this post.
Michael,
ReplyDeleteVery interesting read. Your personal story adds an aspect to this idea that transcends typical gender roles. We talk about equality of thought when it comes to the LGBT community, yet actions and results within our society tell a very different story.
Sports are a good first example in which there is a clear lack of openly LGBT athletic competitors, and this has been discussed at great length by you and other commenters, but how about LGBT politicians? Steadily over the years the number of LGBT members of congress has increased, this year we elected the first lesbian Senator and first bisexual congresswoman in history, but the lack across partisan lines is clear. In a profession that is negatively characterized as being solely populated by "grey-haired white males," it will be interesting to see demographical shifts in the coming years.
Great read!
Brad